The family man: Phenomenology of intimacy with wife and bonding with son

• Main Author: Mendoza, Roberto Moran
• Format: text
• Language: English
• Published: Animo Repository 2003
• Subjects: Fathers and sons; Patriarchy; Domestic relations; Intimacy (Psychology); Counseling Psychology
• Online Access: https://animorepository.dlsu.edu.ph/etd_doctoral/2; https://animorepository.dlsu.edu.ph/context/etd_doctoral/article/1001/viewcontent/CDTG003529_P__1_.pdf
• Institution: De La Salle University

A phenomenology of the different expressions of intimacy with wife and bonding with son is investigated. Eleven married, middle-aged men were invited to share their notions and experiences on topics ranging from masculinity, gender roles, intimacy with partner, dealings with son to recommendations as to how to improve the male condition. Results revealed eleven essences or fundamental components which included: (a) articulation and expression of feelings b) the effort to deman less from each other (c) spiritual recharging changes outlook in relationships (d) actively becoming sensitive to differences instead of imposing one's will or sameness (e) proactive concern for financial viability: budget, bills and business (f) adjusting to strengths and limitations of partner crossing over some roles (g) nonstop attempt to improve family situations and to advance achievement (h) sacrifice and devotion through regular communication and patience (i) finding time to ensure lovemaking against the backdrop of work and hard times (j) profound acceptance of mellowing, giving more importance to mentorship and (k) to welcome disagreements, to have good fights, to be transparent. The male, his partner, his son, the condition or situation, and the most significant coping are interrelated in a proposed model of the family man as making a life and earning a living. Incorporation of feminine component and the importance of spiritual component in the partnership with wife and relationship with son are two important conclusions.